Within less than a year, this country is going to pick a new president. The Democrats offer the wife of a former president as its front runner while the Republicans offer a former New York City mayor who would have been forgotten if the most horrific terrorist attack on American soil did not take place during his administration. Both the Democrats and Republicans have weighed this country down with bickering and in fighting. It is going to take a dynamic personality to fix the ills of this republic. Since I can't do it myself because of that rule of having to be at least thirty five years old to be president, I only see one person that is currently in the public eye that can save us. It's not Al Gore. It's not Stephen Colbert. It's not even Oprah.


It's Amy Poehler.

Yes, that Amy Poehler. Saturday Night Live's Amy Poehler. Before you have me hauled off to the loony bin, Let me state my case. There are a few good reasons why one should consider having Amy Poehler as your next President of the United States.


She's quick on her feet: In addition to her tenure on Saturday Night Live, Amy is also a member of the Upright Citizens Brigade, one of the most distinguished improv group in the country. Believe me, improv is no joke. I've seen it done. I've done it myself with various degrees of success. You have to have a quick tongue and sharp wit for that. Amy can pretty much come up with a zinger on the spot. Unlike the current President, I think that Amy has the English language mastered. Plus she can do a skit or go in character to break the ice. Perhaps a great icebreaker would be a Hillary Clinton impression, which is so dead on every freaking time that she does it. Or if she has to be hard core, she breaks out Sharon Osborne. There has to be a good reason that she is one of three people in the history of Saturday Night Live to go from featured player to full cast member within their first season on the show. Skill, dammit, skill.


She's good with money: Poehler and the other citizen of the Upgrade Citizens Brigade used their money from classes to open the Upgrade Citizens Brigade, in which she is a co-owner. You have to have either to know how to run a business or know that you know you can't run a business and hire the right people. Knowledge to lead or to delegate authority, right? Plus, unlike our President's dad, I think she is more likely to know how much a gallon of milk cost. She knows how to count her asspennies. What are asspennies, you ask? Look it up.


She's married to Gob: She's married to Will Arnett. I don't know how he is in real life. However, if he is anything like his character on Arrested Development, then she has a lot of challenges ahead of her. If she can handle Gob, she can surely handled heads of state. Now that I think of it, Amy had a character that was married to Gob on that show. Plus, the performance in Blades of Glory was great. It was a weird sort of chemistry in a way. Actually, it was a bit scary. I'm not going to give it away. Go see the movie.


She's going to have some free time: According to Wikipedia, Amy is leaving Saturday Night Live after this season, assuming that there are any other shows this season due to the strike. I know she works at the theatre on Sundays, but that's it. She can work the presidential angles between films and such. Hey, if Clint, Arnold, and Reagan can hold public office, why not Amy? Then again, Ronald Reagan isn't a good example of actor turned public office holder. Don't even get me going on Sonny Bono. I'll just stick to Clint and Arnold. Presidents are just actors and figureheads anyway. They give speeches, pretend they care and veto bills based on their own opinion and not any legal basis. Might as well get a professional actor to do the job.


She actually has a clue about what is going on: Yes, I'm referring to her anchor job on the Weekend Update segment. C'mon people! This one should be a no brainer. With the intelligence level of this country, we need someone in the Oval Office that actually knows what going on. The average person can't even tell you who is running for President or even knows what's going on in the world. Amy knows. Don't even trip about Weekend Update not being a "real" news show. When The Daily Show and The Colbert Report gets 60 Minutes credibility that it doesn't even ask for, you know you got some juice.


We need choice in America. Both political parties have failed us. It's time for a new choice. Vote Amy Poehler.

The more I stay silent, the more you all act up. Time for me to spank the wicked with my left hand and pet the righteous with my right as I do some quick takes.


1. Without getting too nasty, words cannot describe the disdain that I have for Ann Coulter. Don’t get it twisted. I hated Ann Coulter BEFORE this latest batch of verbal feces that came out of her piehole. I’m down with free speech, even if I find the words personally repugnant. On the other hand, someone needs to say something when people talk out of her ass. Her comments about the Jersey Girls were pure crap. Of course, you can respond to anyone if you think that they’re off, even to women who lost their husbands in the World Trade Center. The problem is that these right wing bastards on television and radio do not want to talk about the issues or, at the very least, not just the issues. They want to spit this ad hominem attacks. For example, have you ever heard any of this right wing pricks logically refute a stance Ted Kennedy has on an issue without bringing up Mary Jo? Not to belittle a young woman’s dead, but the personal faults and pass mistakes of a person who takes a certain position on anything does not in any way refute the argument. That’s freaking Philosophy 101 or Debate Class 101. Ann’s not pissed because she can’t respond to the Jersey Girls. Ann’s pissed because she’ll look like a fucking bully if she does her usual name calling. I’ve never heard her make a logical argument. I’ve read two of her shitty books and a few of her columns. I would love to end this bit by saying what I would love to see happen to Ann Coulter, but I don’t want to go to jail for saying it on this website. Coulter is no different from the stereotypical stupid blonde. She’s just smart enough to convince the conservative idiots to follow her. Now that this plagiarism charge is going around, hopefully this shrew will be taken down a couple of pegs.

2. Homicide: Life On The Streets is on every day on Sleuth. This show is excellent. I never miss an airing and work the Tivo if I can’t see it. Why did I not this show when it was on the air? I love Andre Braugher, but I don’t know if he will ever find a role as cool as Frank Pembleton again. I’m reading the book the show was based off of by David Simon.

3. I’ve always been curious about Veronica Mars. Can anyone tell me if that’s a good show?

4. I’ve begun to watch MSNBC a lot. I love Keith on Countdown, especially when he picks on Bill O’Reilly. Olberman is carrying that network as far as I’m concerned. Between Tucker and all those damn crime specials, it’s a wonder that Court TV isn’t pissed. Speaking of MSNBC crime specials, how many damn Internet predator shows do they have? Are these guys stupid or what? I’ve always been curious about how the police can arrest someone for soliciting sex from a minor no minor was actually involved in said action. I’m no legal wizard. I’m just asking the question. Anyway, it’s a great alternative to CNN and the POS Fox News. Anyway, we need more Keith.

5. Cedric the Entertainer said that no one blinks when a predominately black show leaves the air. Let’s face it. With the exception of Everybody Hates Chris and a few others, most so called black shows suck. Hey, I’m black, so I can say it. What happened to show like Good Times and The Jeffersons and Sanford and Son? Those shows rocked. Chris Rock makes a kick ass show that anyone would love no matter who they are. Anyone can relate to that show. Maybe that’s why it’s doing so well.

6. I need to read up on what’s popping off in the Middle East with Israel and the recent uprisings that they are involved. I’m not a conservative talk show host. I want to know what I’m talking about when I make an opinion.

7. After seeing her interview on Good Morning America, I have more respect and love for Sheryl Crow now than ever. Her songs has got me through a lot and given me a lot of perspective and hope. I would say that Miss Crow is on the top ten famous people that I’d love to meet someday.

8. There are three podcasts that I listen to religiously. In no particular order of importance, those three are Lionel out of WOR Radio in New York City, Blast The Right with Jack Clark, and SG Inc. I’ll go into more detail on these podcasts sometime in the future.

9. I’m about to celebrate another birthday soon. To me, I don’t feel like I’m older or wiser. I feel like I survived another year. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that I survived another year. Most people don’t. For some idiotic reason, that freaks me out sometimes. The fact that I will eventually cease to exist. It’s not something I dwell on. However, there are nights when all of my anxieties creep upon me when I try to sleep with the “Omigod, I’m gonna die....eventually” thought creeps on me with the myriad of other stupid fears and mistakes that I made that day. Not much I can do about it, for now anyway. Denis Leary said in No Cure For Cancer that happiness comes in small doses. You just have to get enough small doses to add up to bigger doses, I guess. I don’t claim to posses any special insight. I’m trying to figure it all out like the rest of you.


More later. Stay out of trouble.

And now, a few quick thoughts:


1.Call me a bad American if you like, but I can’t get too worked up over this illegal immigration issue. These are people who will work jobs that most Americans won’t do for the wages being offered. This is not to say that I don’t understand some anger or agree with some of the anti-immigrant position. On one hand, I can’t get too worked up over illegals getting medical care through tax dollars. It’s not like I’m going to get that money back if they were all shipped out. Besides, I’m too damn busy working on my on hustle. On the other hand, I do agree with the governor of my state when he says if you are going to ask for state benefits, you must prove legal residency. The fact that illegals are here don’t usually affect unless they are playing their music too damn loud while my wife and I are trying to sleep and I have to show my color to make them stop. If the Pook were blonde, I would seriously have toget a fucking shotgun to keep the vatos away: It's bad enough now, but it would be more so if she were blonde. Believe me, I know from personal dating experience. I’m a libertarian. I believe that anyone who is willing to abide by the laws should be able to roam in this country. Then again, after I visited that big hole in lower Manhattan that used to be the Twin Towers, I realize that you’ve got to see who’s coming through here. I guess I’m torn.

Can people actually talk about the issue with out this xenophobic spew? Now, the question is whether or not our borders need to be secured. The answer, which I think is obvious, is yes. On the other hand, it is high impractical to cross the country to round up 12 million illegal immigrants and send them back to Mexico. I might also like to add that no one is bitching about illegals from Canada and other countries, so there is a part of me that feels that this has some skin prejudice attached to it. When I watch Anderson Cooper talk to this gang of white men bitching about the “brown people”, I tend to get scared. We need to find a way to secure the borders and work on getting ALL illegal immigrants legal. As Cracker said, I guess I will leave that up to someone wiser.

2. This really pisses me off. In all seriousness, I am going to try really hard to get my point across without flying of the handle. USA Today report that several landline telephone companies have been work with the NSA, a government agency, into gather the records of the phone calls made by its customer. Needless to say, the officials stated that they have not be doing anything illegal and that there are no recordings, transcripts or names attached to the calls. Then again, can you truly believe anything that this administration has to say? This is an abomination of the worse degree. I’m no lawyer, but I do believe in the strict interpretation of the Fourth Amendment to the country, which say that the government leaves me and my property be unless they have a warrant. From a personal and a political standpoint, I truly believe in the concept of privacy. What’s worse is that the American people doesn’t seem to care. The masses in this country are willing to trade its civil liberties for the illusion of security. When I hear stupid stuff like, “I don’t care if the government listens to my phone calls because I have nothing to hide” and “If you have nothing to hide, then you shouldn’t have any problems”, I truly believe that the people who utter this ridiculous nonsense have no true idea what it means to be an American and not a goddamn idea as to what this country is about. In the interest of civility, I’m going to leave it at that.

3. Note to Barry Bonds: You are not being crucified in the media because you are black, as USA Today may suspect. You are being crucified because you are an asshole. You are being crucified because you are a jerk and a primadonna. I pray that you get injured so that you fail to break Hank Aaron’s all time home run record. Yes, part of it is that because Aaron played for the Atlanta Braves and that no matter where I wind up, I will always be ATL. However, another part is because you are a big tool.

4.The more that I listen to Bob Dylan’s records, the more I know that he’s right.

5. Mandy Moore, if you’re reading this, I apologize for underestimating your talent. Your episodes on Scrubs were funny. I like Joe Jackson and Elton John. However, I feel you did pretty awesome covers of Breaking Us In Two and Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters. Just saying you get props from me.

6. I like the new Pearl Jam album. I’ve always liked Pearl Jam since the beginning: I even carried him while he stage dived back at Lakewood Amphitheatre in 1992. On the other hand, they haven’t been doing their best to keep in the public eye. I think that lack of doing videos killed them. Yes, music matters. Yes there are a great live band. However, you have the play the game from time to time to get your music heard as well as make great albums. I’d say their last great album was Yield., I do hope that the PJ will rise again with this one. Anyway, hope this album goes well.

7. The Dixie Chicks doesn’t have anything to apologize for and never had. Saw the 60 Minutes interview, which make me like them even more. They’re right: Country has turned into music for conservative alpha male rednecks, many of which drive around here in Atlanta. President Dubya IS an embarrassment to this country because of this stupid war that will increase rather than decrease the number of enemies that we have. It’s a sham that so many of their fans chose to desert them. They get props for the new joint, Not Ready To Make Nice. Don’t get it twisted. I agree with them when they say country music today sucks. However, these three are one of the few exception to my “no country music” rule. I liked the last album. I think this new CD will be rocking.

More later.

So while I was in the Midwest recently with the Pook, I grabbed a copy of the April 2006 issue of Vanity Fair. On the cover. Teri Hatcher from the show Desperate Housewives. Interesting article. I guess the part that was most disturbing was when she was talking about when she was sexually molested by her uncle for years. Years later, Teri finds out that this piece of crap did this is over 30 children. One of them got to the point to she put a pistol to her head and pulled the trigger. I'm sorry, but I can't imagine what goes through the mind of anyone who is sexually attracted to a child. Not that hearing this is anything new: I'm a psychology major. I accept the fact that there is evil in this world, but people like that should die a slow painfully death. I can't tell you what compelled me to buy that issue.

Now that I think about it, I do. The Pook bust my balls on the regular for not finding women 40 and over attractive. Well, actually, I do. Has any seen Annette Benning? She's pretty hot. Teri Hatcher is hot. I think that she looks a hell of a lot better now than when she was doing that Superman show. Now that I ponder it, all the women on Desperate Housewives are pretty hot. Cross, Huffman, Eva, Sheridan, and Hatcher have a way about them. So there ya go.

One more thing: If there is anyone who works for the big wigs at the Jack In the Box fast food chain, I have one question: Why aren't you guys in Atlanta? The nearest Jack In the Box is in freakin' Spartanburg, South Carolina! I've been addicted to Jumbo Jack ever since I lived in Reno. I shouln't have to drive 250 miles to get one. Yes, I know gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, but if I had one in Atlanta, I'd down a $20 bill and demanded several Jumbo Jacks. ASAP bee-youtch. Then again, I can't complain too much. Atlanta finally got Fatburger. Yum-my!

Interesting article I read in today’s USA Today: How what you can say online can hurt you. The article sights several examples of people getting suspended from school or expelled or have had job offers rescinded because of what they said on their web pages.
Totally insane. There is a part of me that thinks, “Well, if some goofball kid says that he’s gonna shoot up the biology class on Myspace, you wanna put the kabosh on it quickly.” On the other hand, I don’t think kids should be penalized for what they say on the Internet on their own time on their own computer, no matter how evil and mean spirited it is. I do believe in the unrestricted application of the First Amendment across the board except in cases of libel or slander. I just think that, in most cases, that someone of these people are thin skinned school officials that forget the fact that kids are going to hate them and talk smack. The only difference is that nowadays, the forum is bigger and global. As long as there aren’t any open threats to self multilation or violence or any illegal activites, the fact that some high school kids hate their homeroom teacher isn’t cause to put a boot to their necks.

Still, you have to watch what you say and post on the Internet. For example (and I know that I’m going to get in a lot of trouble for this, but here goes anyway), I’m extremely amused when I can the websites of Myspace and see pages with photos of young women who are in their underwear or Wonderbras. Then these women start complaining about the responses that they are getting from guys. Am I missing something? Don’t get it twisted. Lord knows that I’m a far from a prude. We won’t even talk about the coolness that are breasts. It is not appropriate for total strangers to hit you women up offering you’re a pearl necklace and a facial when they’re not talking a trip to Tiffany & Company and your local day spa. On the other hand, dressing a certain way gets a certain response. In a perfect world, women should be able to dress any way they want to and be respected. However, this is not the case. In the words of George Carlin, you have to deal with things as they are and not how it “ought to be”. We all know how men are. We are human beings with rational minds and can choose our behavior. However, the biological imperative of all males in any species is to spread their seed among as many females as possible. So, based on that, some guys have really crude and annoying behavior. If you are going to put up your best Victoria Secret model photos, don’t be surprised when the dudes that haven’t got laid since the Regan administration come out the woodworks with propositions of sex. Then again, it’s easier to hit on girls on the Internet. More than likely, half the guys wouldn’t be as crude if they had to say that stuff to a girl’s face. Who knows?

My point is to watch your ass on the Internet. You never know who is watching…or reading.

And now, a few quick shots for the new year.

1. Get off James Frey's dick. I'm in the process of reading A Million Little Pieces, and it's a good book so far. So he didn't do three months in the hole. So fucking what? He's telling the story of hom he got his life back form the dependency of drugs. That's the morale of the story. So he embellished a bit. Big deal. Leave the man alone. The story that should be more compelling to rid is the fact that I bought the book inspite of Oprah's endorsement. I love Miss Winfrey like you, but some of the shit she bumped doesn't do it for me. C'mon! She's a 50 something black woman from Mississippi. I'm a 30 something black guy from Atlanta.

2. Oh yeah, back off Howard Stern while you're at it. He's on frigging pay radio, you conservative asshole. What more do you want? The people who want to ban or rid the world of something because THEY PERSONALLY find it offensive piss me off. Don't like Stern? Don't buy his channel on Sirius. These conservative people need to be taken to the dirt.

3. Now that I got a new Ipod, I've been downloading Air America podcasts, especially Mike Malloy. I was listening to him when he was on WSB 750 AM here in Atlanta years ago. The man takes no prisoners. I like that. It's a refreshing change from listening to the right wing vermin that pollutes the airwaves. Weird, I've downloading more radio shows than episodes of Lost.

3. Anyone, I repeat, ANYONE, who responds to the shifty ass President Dubya wiretaps with the "I don't care if the government looks through my personal life and records because I have nothing to hide" response should be beaten, kicked out of the country and have their American citizenship removed. No one who truly appreciates the freedom this country or the Constiution can condone any of this. Really. Look in the mirror. If your response to the government looking though your personal life and records without cause is " I have nothing to hide", then you need to leave the country or put a gun in your mouth because you don't understand the concepts of how this country was founded and the concept of lack of governement intrusion with cause.

4. Oh yeah, Judge Alito will probably be confirmed, unforuntaly. The guy is questionable at best and a butt buddy for big corporations at worse. Never sided for the normal guy. Always for government. What a tool.

5. James, the lobbyist heading to jail. He will hopefully, bust hell wide open and take some Republicans with him.

More later, people.

As you guys are winding into the holiday season, let me break you off with a few quick shots:

1. This illegal wiretap thing with President Dubya is totally inexcusable. As far as I’m concerned, he has pissed on the Constitution. Why is this asshole not in jail? Don’t tell that we can’t protect this country without destroying the ideals it stands for. The terrorists have already won by the existence of the Patriot Act and this jackoff doing illegal wiretaps. We are getting close to being a police state. The terrorists have already won.

2. Don’t get it twisted. I love U2, which is one of my favorite bands. I love the fact that Microsoft and its products have helped my life for the better. I agree that philanthropy is a good thing. However, after everything that has happened this year, can you real say that Bono and Mr. and Mrs. Gates should be Time’s Persons of the Year? Have their actions made more of an impact for better or worse this year, as Time’s guideline says. I think that thing that had the most impact that year is Mother Nature. Don’t believe me? Ask people in Florida, Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana.

3. You dudes have to get a video Ipod. I got one a Christmas present. It’s a beautiful thing. The fact that I can get my talk radio shows and videos is cool. Finally, Apple has got it down.

4. Props to Saturday Night Live’s Chris Parnell and Adam Samburg for “Lazy Sunday”. Not only is it one of the funniest skits on show in a while, it’s not a bad rap song. The Internet is going nuts over the video. There are even T-shirts available. Yowza. Go to Slate . I think this guy may say it better than I do.